her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
be right there i have to get my cape
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
