i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
