He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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