He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
