I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize