We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
