arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
