she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
