I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
