the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
