You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
