why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
