just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
