At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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