Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
