You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will be naked everywhere
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
