I think my vagina is haunted
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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