I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
