And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
