You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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