he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
