I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
