if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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