I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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