What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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