So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
