You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
