She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
