you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
