She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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