I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
