Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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