I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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