So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
