Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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