I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
