oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
