U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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