I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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