too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
