I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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