Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
