I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
