okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
