I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
