I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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