I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
my poor anus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
