she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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