Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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