Nicole vs. Life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
