i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
