YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
