3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize