She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
