stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
