Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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