she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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