Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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