I feel great
I just peed on a car
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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