the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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