Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
