So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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