I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
