"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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